Bound By Bandaids, Stan and... Nelly?

Stanley, you should know that Matt LeBlanc is working very hard at the moment - does 'Episodes' ring a bell? Basically he is playing an bigger and more egotistical version of himself, and by bigger I don't want you getting confused with Matthew Perry bigger.

Now I shall address your two main concerns, what with LiLo off the gear you're simply distracted, don't worry, Miley and her faux romance will come knocking soon enough. 

Concern one: Wee one crying

My suggestion and solution is simple and can be managed in a few steps:

• Find ear phones, insert into ears, insert input cord into musical device and press play

• Failing that, leave a note for your neighbours explaining that you do shift work and you'd like to sleep through the day

People with children need to understand that those without offspring have routines that need to be closely followed as well. Just like Celine we also have 100's of Vegas shows we need to deliver... mostly in the guise of Britney Spears - remind me again just how we are going to manage that one. 

Concern two: Someone watching you

Again I offer you a simple solution:

• A simple bit of plaster or bandaid over the small camera dot

Just look what it did for Nelly circa 2000's, he won a grammy. Keep the tunes loud and all roads lead to Vegas.