I missed Cannes as I was indisposed with Beyonce and Jay-Z baby two or not, however I still managed to send Baz a bouquet of calla lilies - the flower de jour of the 1920's. His appreciation of them made me forget all about Nicole Kidman's horsemanship in 'Australia'.
You would have thought that all the time I was spending with Bey and Jay Z that they would have given me the inside word on how they managed to negotiate the US/Cuba embargo with such gusto, but not a peep. Which leaves me just where I started, trying to find relevant flights from Mexico to Cuba. But Rose is doing what Rose does best - and that's outsourcing. I've learnt a thing of two from the Weinstein family: let someone else do all the work and swoop in at the end and claim the statues.
Meanwhile, how is the hair going Stanley? You just need to have a couple more erratic outbursts, a short stint in rehab before you soar like a phoenix. Questionable 'artists' like Will.I.Am will be queuing up to record with you, you'll make a faux English accented cameo on one of his singles before entrusting him to produce your eighth album.
And by agreeing to do this you will break the hearts of many of your fans and why? Because we all know that you're so much better than an old Black Eyed Pea and we only want nothing but success for you.
Weave or no weave.
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